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Looked after
in China -
James Clarke
Now that mainland China has almost joined the ordinary
world one would hope that the sometimes neurotic attitudes
one finds in their hotels will improve.
A Roodepoort couple who went there a few years ago
found a notice in their room headed: "Guests' Safety
and Security Notice."
Here's what it said:
Every guest who stays in Chengdu Hotel must
strictly observe the rules of registered permanent
residence, guests accommodation notices and the rules
of the fire protection by Police Security Office,
and carries out the rules of strictly forbidding obscure
articles, books, videotapes, by the State Council
and Security Ministry and their security rules in
Chengdu Hotel.
1. By their Identity Cards, the guests can register
rooms at the Reservation Desk. Husband and wife should
show their Marriage Certificate. The registration
letters should be clear and exact.
2. If you want to increase or charge the person in
your room, you must go through the formalities of
registration at the Reservation Desk. If the room
is occupied by the guest without registration, the
guest'll be punished 3-10 times money as the room
prices by The Safety and Security Department in our
hotel. It'll break the law for unlawful cohabitation,
visiting prostitoties and prostitution.
3. Guest'll be strictly forbidden to use electric
stove, alcohol stove, iron, kerosene stove and other
electrical equipments in the room. We'll confiscate
these electrical equipments. If the fire alarms, you'll
break the law and be punished three times money as
that you destroy.
4. Visiting your relatives, you should show your identity
cards to the assistant and register at the Services
Desk.
5. Please check the cash and other thinges in your
pockets before you send your clothes to lundry. Hotel
has no responsibility.
6. If guests continue to stay in room without registration
formalities, they'll be regarded as check-out themselves.
The luggage and other things in the room will be kept
by the hotel in a short time and the hotel has no
responsibility of its loss and damage.
7. Combustibles, easily exploided things, poisons,
etched and radioactive things are strictly forbidden...
8. Hotel has no responsibility of your being poisoned
by the food and drink from out of the hotel.
9. Please be quiet in the floor. You'll be punished
and break the law because of fighting and drunk in
the hotel.
10. No announcement if the rules above are changed.
Prostitoties?
Receptionist: Ho plis, excuse me honorable sah. What
is in this box?
Just Post-Toasties. I always bring my own cereals
when I travel.
Ha! Prosititoties! You will be punished three times
the money.
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